Wednesday, May 2, 2012

GBE2 Blog On Prompt 50 “The Stranger”

This is for GBE 2 Prompt 50

Have some random cranky navel gazing.

Being a stranger is why I will never make fun of “teen angst” poetry, even the teen angst poetry I wrote when I was a teen. (Okay, I am actually lying about that because my poetry was horrible back then even if certain persons said it was not. I will continue to make fun of the poetry I wrote as a teenager because I know I can write better, dammit. Someday I will rewrite all of my horrible poetry so it will not stink.)

I am a very self-critical person. I am someone who is often unable to speak or put my thoughts in a coherent order. I am someone who takes many things literally, when they were meant figuratively and vice versa. I am often depressed and unable to function. I am someone who wants everything to go right the first time and becomes frustrated when it does not. I become frustrated when I cannot communicate clearly and I blame myself when the other person fails to understand what I meant. I am not good at social things because I do not always understand how social interactions work and what I do know is entirely by rote. (And my perception may not match what was understood by the other person.)

And there are people who do not get this, no matter how I try to explain. (Having someone say “oh I understand” when they clearly do not understand is a common occurrence with me in my interactions with some of the people I know. Stop doing it, just stop.)

So since I have been suffering what might be called “teen angst” in an actual teen instead of an adult in their thirties, I feel that pretending that teenagers (or anyone really) do not have real and valid reasons to feel miserable is nonsensical and also extremely stupid. Is being under a lot of pressure to succeed or fulfill some goal unimportant? Is not knowing what you are going to do with your life because you don’t have the resources you need to succeed unimportant? Is having stress because of abuse or bullying and invalid reason to be miserable? Do you really think that teenagers are not coping with mental illness or other debilitating factors in their life that makes wanting to live or do much of anything really, really hard?